“Who would attempt to fly with tiny wings of a sparrow when the mighty power of an eagle has been given him?” – A Course in Miracles & Gabrielle Bernstein
My husband and I were at dinner tonight when I explained to him how I wanted to dive more into this blog. My thought was to interview people who I love and are inspired by and would consist of questions leading up to it. I asked him one as an example, “What was your most powerful growth you’ve had so far?” I asked him what he would tell his 10 year old self today.
He sat and thought for a while and said that he wasn’t too sure and I should go first. I took a deep breathe and told him I couldn’t put into words how I felt. But with a few moments time I was able to describe it the best I could:
“It’s like walking down a deep dark alley way with no idea how you got there, where to turn, what to do, or how to feel. Everywhere you look it takes you deeper and deeper into that alley. Suddenly there is this light as if someone turned on a street lamp or opened up a door and you are thrown into this new vibrant world full of different thoughts and feelings.”
Boy is that true or what? Sometimes you have to look at where you have been to see just how far life has taken you. I feel very sad to think that my happy life that people thought I had (and that I truly did have in hindsight) was dampened by my own negative thought patterns. I wasn’t happy. I was stuck in the dark alley this whole time when the main street was just beyond a wall. I was that wall holding my own authentic self back. It just took something or someone, maybe me I don’t know, to open that door or turn that street light on to find my way to the truth.
And I am so very happy that I did.
Oh P.S. – Do be on the lookout for interviews from my friends and family including the one from my husband. Maybe we will find out what he ended up telling his 10 year old self afterall …. dun dun DUNNNNNN (that was supposed to be dramatic music)
Well it’s almost that time again! Oprah’s Lifeclass is coming back to OWN in a couple of weeks and I’m super excited (as well as my husband) but it got me thinking ….
Are we preaching to the choir?
I know that may sound extreme but it’s true. The ones who are listening already have their minds open and ready for new teachings but how do we extended that pass Lifeclass, pass our readings, pass our teachings, and outward into the world in which we are all a part of?
It’s time to get out there more and push the envelope a bit by offering free (or at least affordable) programs that instruct our society the meaning of mindfulness and awareness in the present moment. Working in a public library I see first hand at how effective this is. By leading a meditation group twice a month I have seen powerful, not to mention positive, changes in the attendees. They came in, most of them, not knowing one thing about mediation and the awareness they can achieve. Now with simple instruction, motivation, and the will to want a better life these people have focused their attention to the art of Meditation. They are feeling better about themselves body, mind, and soul.
Very possible that if this meditation class was not offered through the library and for no cost these people might never have this new outlet, this new practice. These people who have witnessed first hand the difference meditation makes are taking it to their friends and family who might not believe in or know the benefits of meditation.
So while I might be preaching to the choir right now, to you, please keep in mind the name of this write-up. It’s more important you leave with what you were taught only to go out into the world and live it.
So choir members go out there and spread love and light to those with closed minds, unsure friends, and yourself. Because even if they don’t believe it let us believe it for them even if it’s at a distance.
With much love to everyone,
We all get signs, little goosebumps on the back of our neck, a gut feeling ….
Some say these feelings aren’t that big of a deal, really, more like coincidences or a freak accident. I don’t believe for one moment that these are true. No freak accidents, no coincidences, only divine fate. Now I’m only speaking for myself and am not telling you this is THE truth because I’m not sure, who is? But … I do have one experience that still make the hairs on my neck stand out and it goes a little something like this.
I had just pulled onto the on freeway heading to a friend’s bridal shower, nothing out of the ordinary, my car was in tip-top shape and the weather was beautiful. I was very excited to see some of my friends at the shower and support my friend in her upcoming nuptials. The freeway I was on has another freeway merge into it so basically it goes from four lanes to six with LOTS of cars speeding, merging, and slamming on brakes (I’m in SoCal come on!).
I’m in the slow lane and was planning on changing lanes to get farther away from the merge when my car wheel started jerking to the right. It felt as if someone was pulling with strong force on the wheel. It jerked on and off for a few beats and I was a little shaken because, like I said above, my car never acted like this. I checked to make sure everything was in order: no brake, no “check engine” light or others, no oil change needed (never know), no wind, NOTHING.
As I kept getting this pull on the wheel I got this sinking feeling in, something is not right! I take my foot off the gas and start to think what I should do next. I didn’t want to pull over because I’m almost at the merge, I would wait to get off as soon as possible. By the this time I was pulling back making the car next to me on the left just about a car length ahead of me. Then as I pass the overpass of the next freeway I hear it …
It wasn’t my car but the car in the fast lane, two lanes to my left. Tires squealing, smoking rising, and a SUV spinning out of control in MY lane right where I would have been if I didn’t pull back on the gas. Just then we merged with the other freeway and the out of control SUV hits another car (much bigger than my Yaris Hatchback) and that car spins out of control and launches off the freeway!
After this happened and I saw that everyone was okay I proceeded back onto the freeway still rattled but my car was fine. No more pulling, not since I backed off from the beginning.
Now I started to think WHO, who helped me? Think about it who would be yanking my steering wheel in hopes of getting me off the freeway? I started to thank them (whoever) for being my freeway helper that day just as I was pulling off my exit. I pulled to a stop at the light and noticed the license plate on the car in front of me. There were the letters plain as day R A Y. My grandpa Ray passed away in 1995 but I just felt an instant calming come over me as I knew instantly who saved me.
Thank you grandpa Ray, my Freeway Helper!
Denise Linn is at it again, this time she is asking us to write down 100 of our dreams. It can be anything, the sky is the limit. So here is my list as of so far and of course these will change as I do, but for right now I hope to accomplish as many as I can. This is not a practical or realistic list though some items are attainable. I encourage all of you to make your own list. Enjoy!
1. Attend Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
2. Live on a beautiful acre right by a lake with a boat dock, big wrap around patio, big oak tree with a swing, and a meditation nook outside.
3. Become a Soul/Life Coach teaching people how to better their lives.
4. Run a half marathon on the beach or in the mountains.
5. Travel all around the world to exotic locations like Easter Island & Africa
6. Have a well-rounded and healthy family (Husband, Child, and Me).
7. Continue on with my education (B.A. and possible M.A)
8. Become as spiritual aware as possible.
9. Getting down to a healthy weight and become as physically fit.
10. Visit the Dalai Lama in Tibet
11. Meet Julie Andrews
12. Kiss Walt Disney on the cheek
13. Visit Club 33
14. Stay a night in the Ice Hotel with Mike.
15. Repel down a cave
16. Rock climb to the top of a mountain.
17. Join a bible study and course in miracles group and learn as much as I can about both works.
18. Learn to fly a plane
19. Able to eat under a certain diet restriction (Vegetarian, Gluten, etc.)
20. Work more with nonprofit organizations helping animals and children
21. Get a tattoo
22. Cook every single meal
23. Become a great baker
24. Volunteer at the Special Olympics
25. Swim with dolphins
26. Join in on the world’s largest meditation group ever
27. Live without TV
28. Place a bouquet of flowers at the gates of Auschwitz
29. Remarry Mike on a beautiful beach in Hawaii, with no shoes on, in the water with our child in between us <3.
30. Write a thank you card to every person in my life telling them how much I love and appreciate them.
31. Write a children’s book and a adult book about spirituality
32. Able to do a handstand push up
33. Plant and take care of a vegetable garden.
34. Own horses that roam free
35. Adopt a beautiful dog who needs a loving home
36. Own enough money to live comfortably still able to travel and give to those who need it.
37. Be able to wake up early and meditate as the sun rises.
38. Create a beautiful altar in my home.
39. Stay a summer in a beach house in Hawaii, surfing and paddle boarding daily.
40. Have a meditation class at the Santa Rosa Plateau and at my home for my friends and family
41. Create a program at my library about positive affirmation and meditation for children and their families.
42. Take up photography again
43. Start to dance again
44. Become a Chopra Center instructor
45. Work for Hay House on events (or any authors/speakers events)
46. Become multilingual (English, ASL, and have to learn Spanish still)
47. Kayak down the bright blue river in Italy with Mike
48. Meet my spirit guides
49. Be able to do crazy yoga poses
50. Get chosen for tribune at fight in the Hunger Games (but its not to real death)
51. Homeschool my child
52. Cord cut all my past issues
53. See the lantern festival
54. Ride an elephant in Thailand
55. Have my child attend the same Elementary school my parents and I did
56. Learn Reiki
57. Become a shaman and help others around me
58. Meet Archangel Michael
59. Become a mermaid
60. Have Mike own a fishing boat
61. Go on either Dancing with the Stars or the Amazing Race
62. Kiss Cane Ashby or Billy Abbott on the Young and the Restless
63. Meditate with Oprah
64. Have my own spiritual talk show
65. Become a writer in a magazine
66. Work at the Murrieta History Museum (Murrieta doesn’t have one … yet)
67. Have my own monthly membership to a day spa
68. Star in a documentary
69. Have a family BBQ with my parents, grandma, and my loved ones passed over with my child
70. Climb Mt. Everest
71. Fix my self-esteem issues for good
72. Lead a meditation mob where people observing sit down and join
73. Learn to cook in a beautiful Italian winery
74. Study religion/spirituality in a ashram or something similar
75. Visit John of God in Brazil and spread love and healing through meditation
76. See the PBR competition in Las Vegas
77. Walk the Great Wall of China
78. Have Mike’s and my family all together for a BBQ and have it be nothing but LOVE and LIGHT
79. Be more fashionable
80. Speak as a keynote for Hay House
81. Earn $30/hr.
82. Go on a Alaskan Dog Sled ride
83. Be the best Mom I can be (one day)
84. Be the best Wife and Daughter I can be.
85. Jump off of a waterfall
86. Walk around giving random people flowers
87. Have a beautiful, healthy, white smile
88. Visit the other side (heaven) and come back to tell about it
89. Have my two little cousins grow up to be the happiest and most honorable men possible
90. Be tan again especially my legs (haha)
91. Have more spiritual friends
92. Attend a service at the Center for Spiritual Living
93. Be the Maid of Honor at both my sister’s weddings
94. Throw my grandma the biggest birthday party ever with my mom
95. Retire with my husband with enough to live life well including travel time
96. Go camping with my parents, husband, and child all the time
97. Have a dachshund (for me) and a husky (for Mike) and run agility with them
98. Be a Jungle Cruise Skipper and a Tour Guide at Disneyland
99. Have all my loved ones, at their cosmic and destined time, have a smooth and painless transition Home (many years from now of course)
100. Be Happy
If you have never listen to Hay House Radio I would highly recommended it. They have amazing hosts who have such profound messages to share with the world and they are passionate in helping any and all that call. One of my favorite hosts (and yes I have many) is a women known as Sonia Choquette who hosts Trust Your Vibes and asks callers to name three things they love about themselves and will even ask them to name their spirit.
When I first listened to this I was amazed at how many callers were able to name three things they loved about themselves but found it hard to name their spirit. This was of course easy for me to think because my judgments were in a audience setting. I wasn’t the one who was under pressure to name my spirit. Wouldn’t it be called Spirit anyways?
Well one day I was driving with Mike down to the Wild Animal Park in Escondido, Ca and we were listening to Sonia ask a caller to name three things the lady loved about herself … and then to name her spirit. The caller wasn’t able to think of a name for her spirit and after a few seconds of “dead air” Sonia decided to help her out with the name.
I sat there and thought about the name for my spirit. What would I call her, after all she would be a she and not he wouldn’t she? So I’m sitting in the car in complete silence and started going through the list of names that I liked – as if naming a baby. Lucy? No that was my dog’s name. Jessie? No that was my Great Grandma’s name. Greek Goddesses, Native Americans, Plants, States, etc. Nothing! I sat there in shame, I couldn’t think of a name.
Then it hit me, like a ton of bricks. My EGO’s name came to me full force. Of course I would be able to name my ego of all things first. The ego dominates our lives and never gives our spirit a chance to be center stage. But I thought that it would be good to give my ego a name because then I could acknowledge that he (yes he – the ying to my spirits yang I guess) was center and it would be that much more easier to push him that much farther away.
So there began my “relationship” (I use that term lightly) with Turnbaugh. Turnbaugh is a character in the book American Gods byNeil Gaiman and without getting to graphic works in a slaughterhouse where its his job to take the last and fatal blow to many animals. I know gross, however, this was perfect. I felt as though naming the ego Turnbaugh would teach me that he is not to be front and center, that’s not how I want to live my life and with that awareness I am then able to suppress him and able to bring up …
Claire. Yes Claire, after much thinking Claire kept coming back up and I couldn’t help but think that when we walk our journey we work on the four Claire’s: Clairvoyance, Clairsentience, Clairaudience, and Claircognizance. This is everything I want my spirit to be. My spirit is from the light, from God, and here with me to be the best Me I can possibly be. Claire is a beautiful and strong name that won’t even bat an eyelash at my ego.
I understand now why the ego’s name came so much more quickly than my spirit’s. My spirit wanted me to find the most poetic name that fit the journey I was on, one that I, in someways, was just beginning while the ego had already ruled my life with an iron fist.
Now as I turn to these names to help me I can fully understand why Sonia wanted us to name them. I feel as if Claire is apart of me while Turnbaugh is a part from me. I have such a closer relation with Claire and I’m nothing like Turnbaugh which helps me place the ego that much more farther from my life. Still a hard battle.
And for the three things I love most about me and Claire:
1. My love for my family
2. The way I feel helping others
3. The journey I have been placed on the ability to surrender to it
Much love always,
I wait there, by myself, alone to hear all the beauties Mother Earth has blessed me with. But I don’t wait for long, I hear footsteps off in the distance and I sit up anxiously waiting to see who will walk from the opposite side from where I came from, as they always do. I see them as clear as the sun, my grandpa Ray, my great grandma Jessie, and my uncle Fred. All of them passed away years before this meditation took place. I get excited and I instantly start to cry because they are here, I can see them.
We just stand there looking at each other but I can feel their love for me radiating from them. I can see them smiling and they look the same as how I can remember them. James is still guiding us in the distance but I don’t care I sit there, watching them, looking into their eyes. I miss them so much. I know them on a different level now, I have a relationship with them from this side to the other but its different – they are HERE in my meditation. They came to see me.
What seemed like only a few seconds of standing there I hear James in the background guiding us to turn away from the garden and walk away. This came too soon, I just stood their staring at them. What was I doing? It was time to come back to reality. I wonder how many other people in that room wanted to leave their garden? I sure as hell didn’t. I had my family right there and I wanted to stay there longer. I was going to stay there, I didn’t care what James says, I’m not going.
It’s amazing how fast one can get pulled out of meditation. I feel myself walking away, no more like gliding away. I look to my grandpa, how I have missed him. He looks at me and even though his mouth doesn’t move I hear him, in his own voice I remember so well, say, “We can’t come through tonight but we will be there helping others to get through. You know we love you and we all are fine.”
Just then James pulls me out of my meditation and I come back to that room with everyone else. The lights come on, I hear sniffling from others including my own, I see my husband sitting to my left, and my parents to my right. I’m back to reality knowing that I wouldn’t hear from my loved ones that night. Though it was saddening to know that I would not be receiving validation from James that night I knew that my family members from the garden, my grandpa, great grandma, and uncle, were there helping the energy for other passed loved ones to get through. Many people got the validation they needed and I began to realize I already had mine. I have my validation all the time because I not only believe they are there, with me always, but because I have seen and felt it many times before.